Weakness= Strength

We have been studying the book of Acts in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) this year. Learning about Paul and his struggles are challenging and encouraging! I will let the Bible speak for itself. When he lists everything he has been through and then talks about his thorn and how he pleads with God 3 times to take it away God replies, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Wow! This was so encouraging for me...especially now with day to day life. Compared to other peoples difficulties mine seem so small, but I won't guilt trip myself that way, it really doesn't make me feel any better. But God's Word does! The Holy Spirit has been revealing so much truths to me.

From 2 Corinthian 12:

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

God's Word is true. His Promises are true. This I will cling to.

Never once did I ever walk alone. Never once did You leave me on my own. You are faithful, God, You are faithful!

I've been so blessed! It has been 4 months since I've been home. And it feels like it has been longer. I think of my South African friends and Lambano almost every single day! It has been a hard journey...unfortunately one of me failing to cling to God, and turn to Him first. I knew He would take me back there if it is His plan, and ideally I would want to within a year or 2, for a longer time period.
It has been so hard, and I knew it was my heart and my attitude. The way I felt and all my emotion towards God was wrong. I felt like I couldn't pray or read His Word; to walk a daily Christian life. I think that I was angry and hurt for leaving South Africa when it felt so right living there. But I made it worse on myself for not turning to God, like if I did I would have to accept I was home when I really didn't want to. I knew I needed to, but it was the one thing I didn't want to do.
Recently the Holy Spirit has been work on me. I've repented for my attitude and asked for forgiveness from my Savior. I praise Him for His overwhelming love and patience with me while I am still on this journey, it is a working progress. I pray that it will ring in my heart that God is all I need. I don't know what the specific work is that He has for me, but I know I have to stay in it, for God is all I need! I pray that Jesus washes me over and over again for the one thing I desire is Him, God is all I need. I pray that I will no longer grieve the Holy Spirit and that His work in my life will be evident in glorifying God!
God never left me and I never walked alone or was on my own even thought it felt like it alot of the time I was ignoring Him. God is faithful and sovereign! He is in control!

Home...just take me back to Africa

Well my farewell at the Joburg airport went ok. I felt so special having people come and see me off. The flight back was hard, it hurt so much leaving. Saying goodbye to all the kids, especially the hospice kids near about tore me up...what made it harder was knowing that some can't understand exactly that I'm leaving.
I haven't been home a week yet, but I think each day is getting better. I can't exactly explain how I feel about being home and I know that no one really understand how I feel  either unless they have done something like I've done. It really sucks, I don't feel like going out and doing anything, all I can think about are all my friends and the kids in South Africa and miss them so much. It's been my life for almost half a year and it went by so fast........ but I have to keep clinging to the knowledge I have that God is in control and then I can't help but feel excited about what God will do in the future!
I will continue to post a few posts every once and awhile...especially to keep all updated about the Lambano quilt and how God is working through me since I've been home ! ! !

Blessed

Well, I think this will be my last post in South Africa! Next time you hear from me God-willing I will be home in Washington State! Sure...the last few days have flown by as usual and tonight is my last night sleeping in my room here.

Sunday I was asked to share my testimony, I shared about how I've had a heart to go overseas since I was young and then how God lead me to South Africa, and my thoughts about leaving. Then the young adult biblestudy I've been a part of since I've been hear came up and prayed for me. I thought it was cool how my church back home sent me off with prayer and now this church here sent me back with prayer. God is so awesome! I was very blessed how many people came up to me after and were very encouraged, some I hadn't even gotten to know :) After I went and had lunch with my house 82 kids and spent the afternoon with them. It was a good last Sunday!

Today one of the kids in house 36 had a school concert which I went to with Jenna and the rest of the house 36 kids. I was a wonderful performance and I thoroughly enjoyed it...kind was perfect timing for me leaving to see it :) After I stayed for dinner and the young adult biblestudy met at the house this evening which I just got back from. I will say goodbye to all of them at the airport tomorrow, they are all coming to see me off! I feel so blessed!

Hospice Update: Phillipos was discharged from the hospital today! I'm so blessed to see him before I leave. They also got a new girl last week who is a burn victim and 5 years old. Her name is Zenele...I really like it. She doesn't speak/understand much English, but she sure seems a cheerful little thing despite her healing wounds :)

In the morning I will pack, haha yup saved it for the last day, and then the office staff are taking me out for lunch...the afternoon will be saying goodbye to the houses and staff, then Jenna is taking me to the airport around 5ish to check in and then meet up with everyone from biblestudy and have cofffee before I board the plane.

My plane leaves at 8:35pm (11:35am PST Wednesday June 1) and it's a 16 hour flight to New York...4 hour layover then short flight to DC were I'll connect to my final 5+ hour flight to Seattle airport landing at 3:18pm Thursday June 2. Please pray for me, I've been battling a bad cold and that won't be too fun with the pressure from the flying.

In concluding this final post from the other side of the world I will share a verse we discussed in cell group tonight...

You shall surely give to Him, and your heart should not be grieved when you give to Him, because for this thing the Lord your God will bless you in all your works and in all to which you put your hand. Deut. 15:10

african bush

This past weekend I went up North past Pretoria with my friend from Montana who came to South Africa for a hunt. We left Friday and got back Sunday. We went with the hunting guide and his wife and 2 kids to their farm of 200 acres out in the bush. It was the first time I had ventured out of the city of Joburg. I had a great time too. I'd forgotten how quiet the country is cause I had gotten so used to the noises of the city. It was beautiful country :) I loved the trees tehe!

Today was a public holiday cause it was voting day in South Africa. Martha and I went on the Guatrain to Sandton City which is a very rich part of Joburg. Went to Mandla Square and just walk around the mall and the hotel and had coffee it was a warm day out too!

I have 25 days left in South Africa and time is disappearing so quickly. Next week a volunteer from the States is coming to Lambano for 3 months. So I am to take her around and show her everything I do so she can do it when I leave. I'm happy that someone will be here to do the things I'm doing so Lambano won't be shorthanded.

In the time I have left here I will be getting the kids to paint on squares of fabric to make 2 quilts when I get back to the states to do a quilt raffle for Lambano Sanctuary to help raise funds for them. The kids had done it before for a company a few months ago and it was a beautiful quilt! So I”m looking forward to doing that.

I think about going home and I really don't want to lol...God has been teaching me so much! But as this season in my life is coming to an end I look forward to the next chapter of my journey to see where God will take me...back to Africa or another place in this world...I don't know...but I am prepared f to go wherever he leads me!

Reguarding Journeys in this Life

We all have a journey in this life. Everyone's is different from another. God equips each individual specially to go on their journey. Though it may be a disease they live with, a particular calling, etc. As Christians we all have one journey that is the same for all of us and that is sharing the gospel and living it out.
One month from today I will be beginning another part of a journey that started over 10 years ago. Started with a divine calling... some may not believe in that; I do, and that doesn't make me any more better than another. I know in the deepest part of me that this is what I have to do and I can't describe it. I'm not going to South Africa for attention or an adventure. I'm going simply because God told me to.
I have many mixed feelings about it, but one is not fear. God has been preparing me for this long before I knew I was going. He has been faithful and patient with me as I've been on the journey and He will continue to be. I pray God will show me how I can be the change I wish to see in the world. May He guide me in wisdom and discernment in the choices I make. This is my destiny.
In the next 30 days as I gear up for Africa I pray and ask you to pray that God will continue to prepare my heart and teach me what He will for me to be a comfort to these children. That through my actions and my words they will see Christ and His love. God has a perfect plan for each of these little ones! To the world, they seem like nothing but orphaned and abandoned kids, that are of little worth because of the disease existing in their small bodies...but they are precious creations of the Lord!
I pray that God will empty out my mind and heart of meaningless, sinful things and fill me with Him. That He will show me what I need to do, so that nothing hinders me in Africa to do what He has for me to do over there. The last thing I want is for my sinful, selfish self to get in the way of what God has called me to do. Thy will be done Father.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom... wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. James 3:13,17

Thank you for your continuing support and prayers.
Love in Christ,
Rachel